A Date At the Mall

Joe Biden sat on a bench on the second level of the mall. He gazed for a while at the passersby before his tiny little eyes became hooded and he yawned. He shook his head. 'God damn,' he said softly, tiredly. 'God damn I hate these people.' He shook his head. He yawned again He laughed in a brief, guffawing way and said 'God damn, god damn I hate these people.' He shook his head and yawned again. 'I hate these damned people. I hate them.' He shook his head.

A little girl stood by, eating a cinnamon roll. He affected a happy face and said, in a cheerful tone, 'I hate'em!'

The girl laughed. Joe Biden smiled.

The little girl's Mexican father frowned at him. Joe Biden looked at him sternly and said, 'I love you.'

'David Lynch,' the man said.

Biden frowned. 'What?'

Exasperated, the man repeated, 'David Lynch!'

Biden shook his head, frowning. 'I don't know what you're talking about man.'

The man grabbed his daughter by the hand and pulled her away, looking over his shoulder at Biden.

Biden passed the pretzel shop, looked in, saw a boy and a girl sitting together, and kept walking.

But the boy and the girl recognized him. What did they make of him? I don't know. They didn't say.

The boy scratched his head. 'Are you proud of me?'

'I want new shoes,' the girl said.

The boy looked away from her and said, 'Are you proud of me?'

'For what?' the girl asked.

'For sticking up for you.'

'When?'

'Yesterday. Are you proud of me? Do you love me for getting it right?'

'The trademark on the tag on my dress makes me uneasy,' the girl said.

'I've never loved anyone else,' the boy said. 'I'd take my life for you.'

'It's a portal I think. On the tag. What do you think?'

'Are you proud of me?'

'We should see other people. But you know, we can still go on dates too.'

'Do you love me?'

'Who was that man who peered in with lurid eyes?'

'Are you seeing someone else?'

'I've never been to Gibralter.'

'Come with me to France,' he said, his eyes big.

'Want to come with me and my friends to Hawaii and Thailand?'

'You were never supportive.'

'I'm not really into the things you're into.'

'If we were trapped in a tornado together, I could prove I love you.'

'My mother doesn't like your cologne.'

'My heart is black and I'm falling apart, every moment we're together reminding me I can never truly have you.'

She dipped her pretzel into the little plastic cup of cheese and stuck it in his mouth.

'I'm your new mother, ' she told him. 'Find someone else to love.'